Ran across this short movie called Validation…funny, intriguing, touching, and a great story that illustrates the power of words, and the fundamental human need for recognition and affirmation. If you have 15 minutes or so to invest, it’s definitely worth your time:
It got me thinking about the way I use words - and how I might take advantage of the opportunities I’m given to recognize and call out the beauty and God-given strengths of those around me.
What’s your response to the movie? Have you experienced this sort of validation in your life? What prevents you from being validated, or validating those around you?
FYI, I’ve decided to change blogging platforms, moving from Blogger to a spiffy new self-hosted WordPress account. This should be a relatively seamless transition, culminating when the VisionNavigator.com domain is switched over to point to the new WordPress account. Operative word here is should
Will keep you posted on the progress. In the meantime, please pray for my sanity, and that all will go smoothly.
Feel free to offer any tips, advice, pearls of wisdom, etc. you might have as well…
What’s the last major move you’ve made in your life?
Watching Super Bowl commercials yesterday reminded me of one of my favorites from last year - the ETrade “Bobo the Clown” commercial.
Not only does it strike a chord with me, it also reminded me of one of my most embarrassing moments…
Back in my seminary days, I was at a party talking with another student who had a gift for clowning. Not clowning around — literally being a clown. He was also a talented mime.
He told me about the clowning/miming ministry he had, which was obviously near and dear to his heart. Problem was (and is), I hate clowns. Always have. Hate mimes even worse.
Nothing personal, it’s just that clowns creep me out. Mimes are even worse because they get in your face and don’t say anything, pretending to be engaged with objects that don’t exist.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that It’s just not my cup of Earl Grey…
Being the good Southern gentlemen I was raised to be, I listened to his stories attentively. I even praised him (genuinely) for his enthusiasm, and encouraged him to keep following the dreams/desires God had placed in his heart.
Then my bride Lee showed up.
Overhearing the subject of our conversation, she (inexplicably I might add, because she’s typically the queen of social graces) blurted out:
“Clowns? Steve hates clowns!!“
[Insert seemingly endless awkward pause...crickets chirping, beads of sweat forming, and the like]
Keeping a stiff upper lip (and trying not to make eye contact with the student), I shot my bride a knowing glance, and said meekly, “We were just talking about how [student's name] has a clowning ministry, and it’s actually really neat.”
To which Lee replied, helpfully, “Oh — well it’s mimes he really hates!!“
[Insert even longer awkward pause, while I calculated whether I should fake a seizure or eek out another reply]
Rebounding, I replied [stammering], “Well…you see…he actually does miming ministry also…and it all sounds…very interesting…[trailing off weakly]“
Just as I was internally congratulating myself for hanging in there, and hoping for my wife to pick me up off the floor, she replied, “Well, I’ll leave you two to talk. See ya’.”
And just as swiftly as she arrived, she was gone.
Leaving me. And the student. In her wake.
Eventually I mustered the courage to stop staring after my wife, realizing the likelihood of her returning to save me from this social prison was nil.
Pressing on, I turned to face the student — bravely hoping against hope to find a way to salvage the situation.
But the damage was done. I could see it in his eyes. That look of “I thought you were my friend.” That sense of “You mean you let me bear my soul to you when you don’t actually give a crap?!!”
I wanted to tell him it was all a lie. That my wife was off her meds. Unfortunately, her status as an accomplished seminary student herself was now working against me…
He could see it in my eyes as well. I really do hate clowns. Hate mimes even worse. The fact that he was not just one, but both of these things was hard for me to get my arms around as well, since he was otherwise a very likeable guy
The truth is that I really was genuinely happy for him that he had found something he loved and felt called to do. Had our relationship continued, I might have even grown to love (ok, let’s be real, tolerate) clowning and miming.
But that was not to be. Hurricane Lee had struck, and it was just too raw, too painful to rebuild…
I don’t remember if another word was actually spoken. I do remember that he turned and left first, leaving me standing alone for some indeterminate amount of time. Could have been minutes. Could have been hours. Don’t really know. It’s all a blur to me now…
Postscript: My wife and I get Christmas cards from dozens of old seminary friends/acquaintances. Inexplicably, we’ve never received one from this student…
If you’re out there, somewhere, please accept my [and my bride's] apology — if you gave up clowning, I hope if wasn’t on my account. If God really placed it in your heart, I hope you’re clowning/miming up a storm — not to spite me, but in spite of me.
****************
For everyone else out there, what’s your most embarrassing moment? Have you ever committed social suicide?
Do clowns/mimes creep you out too, or is it just me?
As opposed to a monologue, where your time is spent largely in venues designed for information transfer or one-way communication - either speaking or being spoken to.
Not to say that there weren’t great speakers. Quite the contrary. In fact, I’m still processing and reflecting on the content presented in both the main and breakout sessions.
My lasting impression of I3, however, will be the conversations I shared with so many great leaders and servants from across the country. Some old friends, some new ones, my Auxano peeps, and a ton of folks I knew via blog or twitter connections but had never met face to face.
What impressed me as well was the way dialogue was encouraged through innovative uses of technology. Which includes such things as:
free wireless Internet service provided by Bent Tree Bible Fellowship
use of the twitter #i3 hashtag, allowing a way for folks twittering at the conference to connect with and track one another more easily
live session feeds and chatrooms on the conference website, which extended the reach of the conference beyond those who were physically present
And the dialogue continues. Through twitter, blogs, the live portion of the conference website, and other conversations I’ve had after the conference.
So why is this so significant? Consider the words of Jesus:
Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them. Matthew 18:19-20
Notice that? The emphasis is on two reaching an agreement, and two or more coming together in Christ’s name. Agreement and unity. Which is hard to forge when only one person’s doing all the talking.
The real value of I3 for me then, was its ability to stimulate dialogue. Conversations where two or more followers of Jesus, the Living Word, or logos, could share their thoughts, words, and experiences with one another. Reaching agreements, hearing Christ speak through each other, and forging lasting relationships.
I wonder what church leaders can learn from this? Is your church known more for creating dialogues or monologues? Is your primary communication style one of conversation or proclamation? What technologies do you employ to support your church’s communication strategy?
If you participated at I3, what were your impressions? What thoughts or key takeaways have impacted you the most?
If you haven’t noticed, I’ve been majorly ignoring my blog of late. This is mainly due to the fact that I discovered twitter (go here to see my profile) over the holidays.
The result has been that the time in my schedule normally allotted to blogging has been eaten up with twittering. Which may seem strange if you’ve not yet succumbed to the crack-like addictive properties of twitter…
Because it’s not just twitter itself that’s addicting — it’s the ability to connect instantaneously with so many people, which then opens the door to a whole host of other resources, blogs, tech tools, etc. Which means you never have to stop twittering!
Plus I’ve been busy. In fact, today and tomorrow (weather permitting - please pray for non-ice) I’ll be at the Innovation3 conference, where I’ll get to meet up with other members of the Auxano team, see some old friends, and meet some new ones - many of whom I’ve met on twitter, by the way…
So there you have it. I haven’t given up on blogging, it’s just that I have yet to find a rhythm in 2009 that allows twittering and blogging to co-exist peacefully.
Does anyone else have this problem? What’s your experience with social media tools, like Facebook, MySpace, Linked-In, Plaxo, or twitter? If you use them, how do you incorporate them into your day? If you don’t use them, why not?
In honor of the Martin Luther King, Jr. holiday, I thought it timely to focus some attention to perhaps his most famous speech-namely, the “I Have a Dream” speech.
If you haven’t heard or read it in its entirely, you owe it to yourself to do so. Below is a link to the video on YouTube. The full text of the speech can be found here.
In addition to its historical significance, the speech is a truly remarkable example of vision casting and the power of words. What’s especially remarkable is that the 16 minute speech was scripted out by Dr. King to last only four minutes, a limitation placed upon him by organizers of the March on Washington event. But as the crowd heard and began to respond to his tightly woven, yet soaring poetic prose, Dr. King dropped the script and began to improvise.
The result was a 16 minute long fusion of preparation and passion. In it, Dr. King managed to not only illustrate the intolerable divisions and injustices of his present time, but also to cast an enduring vision of freedom, unity and justice for the future of all Americans.
I wonder what Dr. King would think if he were alive today? I wonder what his dream means in light of another historical event on the horizon-namely, the inauguration of Barack Obama as the first African-American President of the United States?
What are your thoughts? Which words in the speech have the most meaning for you? Are Dr. King’s words still applicable today?
[Note: I've been on a self-imposed blog hiatus for the past few weeks, but wanted to check in to offer a brief word of explanation, and let my faithful readers (that's you!) know that I'm still alive and well].
When I was a kid, I remember either my older brother or sister having a very “hip” to do list (it was the 70s, when hip was really cool). It had a glossy plastic orange cover with lowercase white lettering that read “Dumb Things I Gotta Do.” This list hung around our house for a number of years, and to my knowledge nothing was ever written in it. This isn’t surprising really, because who wants to be reminded of pointless tasks you’re forced to do against your will?
This list came to mind recently, because I realized some of my own to do lists have started to feel like that for me. Chores. Sources of stress. Burdens. Fun-suckers. Energy drains. Dumb things I gotta do.
So what’s a person to do? Add another “to do.” Namely, write a blog post about it
Seriously, I’ve come to realize such feelings are an indicator that there is a disconnect in certain areas of my life between vision and reality. That I’ve over-committed, and undervalued the limited amount of time and energy I really have to spend. That I’ve allowed complexity to set in, at the expense of simplicity and clarity.
So for the past couple of weeks I’ve been doing what I counsel my clients to do. Hop off the treadmill for a bit to evaluate why I was on it in the first place. Employ the aid of a strategic outsider to help me gain some perspective and ongoing vision clarity (because, as a friend of mine so aptly puts it, “You can’t see the back of your own head”). Take some time to evaluate all the task oriented clutter that I’ve accumulated, to see where it fits (or doesn’t fit) within the broader missional framework for my life.
Thus, the blog hiatus. So now you know.
Does your life feel clear or cluttered? How do you manage your to do list(s)? When you look at the tasks on them, do you feel drained or energized?
Christmas day started out peacefully enough at my house. Opening presents from Santa. Then breakfast. Giving thanks, opening Christmas crackers (the British kind with cheap toys and paper hats), and eating. Then off to the tree to open presents from family.
And then it happened. Someone fired the first shot (ok, it could have been me, but let’s not point fingers…). A simple wadded up ball of wrapping paper bounced off someone’s head. And suddenly, Christmas trash turned into treasure. Treasure in the form of…ammunition.
The picture above shows my ammo stash. A stash that was hijacked and used against me by my daughters as I emerged from the bathroom after a pit stop. Of course you know, this means war…
Fortunately, I was able to regroup and gain the upper hand, restoring peace to the land (peace through superior firepower, mind you, not to mention tactical skill, guile, battle hardened experience, and the fact that my 14 year old son decided to remain neutral and not tip the balance of power over to his sister’s side).
The irony of all this? The most fun I had today came from the least expensive stuff. Stuff that is typically overlooked and undervalued.
The moral? Well, I could think of a lot of them. Like it doesn’t take a lot of money to have fun. Or, you can’t put a price on imagination, or creativity. Or, the best presents of all are those that bring us together in relationship (like the gift of God’s son, for example). Even if the relationship involves beaning each other with wadded up paper balls…
How did your family celebrate Christmas? What was your most memorable present or experience?
Who’s on your Christmas gift list? For me, it’s mostly family, friends, neighbors, colleagues, plus some ministries and other charitable organizations. Generally then, my list includes people I relate to, value, or think are deserving of a gift.
Was feeling pretty pleased with this arrangement until I reflected on this:
You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God’s wrath through him! For if, when we were God’s enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life! Romans 5:6-10
Catch that? Christ came and died as a gift for powerless, ungodly sinners who were enemies of God. Which pretty much covers all of humanity from his perspective, by the way.
So why doesn’t my list look like God’s? Maybe it’s because the real Spirit of Christmas involves a radical act of extravagant grace.
To make room on my list for this, I’m thinking I need to include at least one person who fits into one or more of these categories:
Enemies
Backstabbers
Undeserving Jerks
Blowhards
Hags
Betrayers
People who really annoy me
Haters
Lying thieves
Or worse…
Do you have someone like this on your list? If not, why not?
What could you do to rock some enemy’s world this Christmas? How can you make room on your list to unleash a whirlwind of extravagant grace into some poor, undeserving, unsuspecting schmuck’s life?
It’s just not my cup of Earl Grey…
